i remember the first time i saw you...

it was on a Zoom conference with a neurosurgeon, one year ago today.

that was your first photo shoot. and here's one from the spring. you can see that you're not really here anymore. my neuro-oncologist says if you are there at all, you are beyond microscopic. the dark part is just residual swelling. my doctor shares the scans with me. the first time i asked him to see them, he was surprised, as if he is never asked that question. i was excited to see pictures of my brain, but i guess i'm in the minority (nerdz)...

speaking of nerdz, i remember in sixth grade, we had to do a research paper on something scientific. i chose MRIs which were pretty new at the time. my dad worked at a hospital at the time, so he took me in to see one in action. i heard it bang and clang from the control room but i never imagined i would be in one, hearing it from the inside.

this was my first MRI of what i'm sure will be many. i feel like a pro at it now. it's not that bad, if you don't think about how close your nose is to this thing. i have my breathing down and i try to string the banging and clanging into some kind of polyrythmic symphony.

talula, i wonder what you look like now in the tumor bank. did they freeze you? what kind of container are you in? is it crowded at the bank? do they serve drinks?

hearts.
.a